So, Lately I have been feeling a bit like I've been letting God down. I haven't been reading my Bible regularly like I should nor spending time just praying and talking with God. I've really been distracted with all the things that go on around me school, friends, parties, teaching, and other various activities. However, I have time to go on Facebook or watch a movie but always say, "I don't have time to read the Bible." Well, that's just crap. Just plain not true. I have time. If I used my time wisely I could have even an hour to spend with him let alone 20 minutes.
Two things that have struck me recently is that I find myself in circumstances or thinking things that I know would not be honoring to the Lord. For example, seeing someone being left out and not trying to include them but rather putting myself first. Another example, being at a party and maybe drinking just one beer too much. I realized that lately I have really been putting myself first when in fact, just as Christ did we should put others before us.
My Dad recently wrote me an email talking about how all the things I do are great but the most important thing I can do is spend time with Jesus. Again today, my mom send me an email about something she read about George MacDonald: “We will each take with us through death nothing but our inner selves, our souls_the essential character that is real me, the real you, which we have used the opportunities of life to become.” She went on to write that I need to take time to develop my "inner being" so to say. That only God can affirm who I am. Basically, when I don't spend time with God I am an empty shell. I am not letting Him down because he will always love me no matter what, it's more than I am damaging myself because I am letting something beautiful I could have with him slip away.
After reading my mom's email, I sat down and opened my Bible to James. Within the first chapter it states, "Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and compete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" (1:3-5).
It's amazing how God speaks directly to us through the Bible. I feel like I am faced with many trials, not in the kind that my life is endangered obviously, but there are little decisions I have to make every day and these little decisions really define my reputation as a Christian. But through these little decisions and through my mistakes I am learning to persevere in my faith even when it is challenged. It is through these things that our faith becomes real because it is through these things that we actually have to live out our faith. Also, I often find myself struggling with what I should do. Duh! God gives wisdom to those who asks without finding fault! I am so not alone! I don;t have to face all the little decisions that can become slippery-slopes on my own! God is so faithful, wonderful, good, loving and the list goes on! I am so thankful to Him and for his grace and for loving me despite how many times I fail. He just loves me because I am his daughter. Amen!
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